Good Night, My Beautiful Boy.

*Writen in November, but now I feel up to sharing what was on my heart immediately after Buck's passing.

Buck, my sweet boy. My snuggle bunny and my shadow. My life will never be the same without you. You came into my life when it was just me & you against the world. We were happy to adopt Daddy when he came along though. :)

*If you would like the medical facts & info, stay tuned for the end.*

You are the best dog ever. Kind, gentle, and sensitive. You certainly loved naps with Mom, bike rides with Dad, and to watch birds at the feeder with the cats. I felt very safe with you here when Daddy wasn't home. I loved your company. We never had to be alone. :) 

We know your in Heaven now. You can run as long and far as you want now. You can follow your nose for hours and hours.  Sunny nap spots that never end. You enjoy a body that never feels hunger, pain, or sickness.

We love you, thank you for being our dog. Thank you for loving us. 

Carolyn & Chris

*skip to the asterisks below if you wish to skip the medical details.

What Happened:

Our sweet beautiful boy passed away last Saturday, November 10th. He wasn't feeling well for 3-4 days and had been into the vet 3 times in 4 days. 

On Saturday, Buck was diagnosed with epilepsy. While beagle are strongly predisposed to epilepsy, having it emerge at 9 years of is very strange. But! The reassuring news was Epi. is very rarely fatal and our vet started him on a medication. We were to return Tues. for a few more tests and observation.

After we got home Buck started acting very strange, he had what we now know was a tonic clonic (formerly grand mal) seizure. Afterwards he was a bit more alert, responding to our voices, etc but, began walking in wobbly circles. After he tumbled off the bed, then "got stuck" after walking up against the back of the house, we crated him for his own safety.

In his crate he seemed to be doing better, we hoped the medication was helping. He snored his way through a 3-4 hr nap. But, about 4 or 5pm his breathing became labored. Eventually, he stopped breathing completely. :-/

Chris performed CPR while I drove Buck to the emergency clinic, but our sweet boy had slipped away from us. While it was a traumatic event for us, we take comfort in the fact two vets have reassured us for Buck he wouldn't have had any distress or pain. He was happy and content at home with Mommy & Daddy, took a nap, and woke up in his forever home. We anxiously await seeing Buck again in our time.

While we don't know for sure, our vet believes Buck suffered a bleed in his brain that would have caused his death on Saturday. Two front runners are stroke or brain tumor. Seizures cause high blood pressure and this pressure could have caused a stoke to bleed or pushing on a tumor also causing a bleed. 

******

Ultimately, Buck's death was a terrible anomalie. It couldn't have been detected. The possible diseases are all inconsistent with life. While it's cliche, it was a great mercy Buck passed like he did. He didn't linger and we didn't face the added heartache of having him put down.

But, our hearts still ache for out Buck a Bee. There really isn't words... Soon I'll try to compose myself to write your story. 

Buck & Chris asleep for the night. This was taken two nights before Buck passed away. During this week Buck was extremely comforted by physical touch & contact.

Hug your babies tight! 

Buck's earthly remains with his collar and favorite toys.